Day Fourteen Saturday Wiping tears with a paper towel

 Day Fourteen Saturday Wiping tears with a paper towel 

Today makes two weeks we have been in the hospital. This is the day my sister lost hope and was thinking it was over. I was eager that morning to make breakfast like what Moma and I usually do make breakfast, shoot the shit and do laundry. I heard from Ivy this morning and she had been talking to Jason, a nurse she had bonded with. The one that wasn’t my favorite. Ultimately, he is extra as hell and over exaggerates and makes a mountain out of a mole hill. Yes, Moma is not in beautiful shape, but he generally paints a worse picture. Ivy had me tore up absolutely holler crying at the house before I left. Was a bad scenario, the poor dogs. I got ready and headed to the hospital. Ivy had made the comment I wonder if I should cancel my patients for the day (thinking she was about to roll out this world). I get there and she looks about the same, not perfect. I felt like she was heavily sedated. They had added versed to the mix and was on the other sedatives. I called Ivy and tried to say I think its ok. The Doc came in and told me it was still just going to take some time. She was still recovering in her own way. Dr Habashi said this was going to be like running through a field of snipers. That’s pretty rough but I really appreciate her not setting me up for failure. I felt optimistic after the talk. I called Ivy and she still was skeptical and said she had ask Moma’s brother Franky to come. I didn’t have anything else planned for the day, but a wedding but they said they understood if I didn’t come. Later on that evening I helped the nurse and the aide was Moma, they covered up her private area, like Moma taught me to help in parts like this it makes the family stand apart. So I didn’t mind if I saw her butt or boob it aint the first one and wont be the last. All that mattered is she was able to get additional support. Boy did they need the help they were weak when it came to flipping and pulling her around. They appreciated the help. I talked to her for a little while and got myself a little upset, boy it sure does hurt to wipe your tears with a brown paper towel. Not much time passed later my sister came. Now this is were it got stressful. The aide came to the door and said your sister is here if you want to switch out. I was like what? She said it again, very confused because we had both been in the room every single day for almost two weeks, but today only one at a time? I didn’t fight it cause there is no point they’ll do what they want. I take my garb off and head toward the door. When I push the door open, Ivy’s eyes got big and was confused. I said they're only letting one at a time in now. Talk about one mad bitch.... She said since when and stormed past me, I knew they were about to get the business. I text her and said I'm in the lobby I'm not upset just enjoy your time with Moma, She replied, “I just showed my ass”. I knew that was coming. Some time later uncle Franky and his wife Danile showed up. I gave them both a big hug and told them they just enforced the one visitor at a time rule. What an absolutely horrible time because my uncle has an absolutely horrible time with hospital anxiety. I tried to call Ivy to let her know but she didn’t answer. I walked them down the abandoned hallway to the ICU phone and made the call asking for permission to see my mother (which I hate). I was trying to prep my uncle. Ivy walked out and leaped into my uncles arms and stared ugly crying. I stared at the wall and tried to keep it together. I was thinking we cant both be a shit show and today was her turn. Ivy tried to prep uncle Franky too. Moma had always led the family and has been the care taker. Moma has been at the bed side of every single family member in their time of need, this was going to be hard for him to see. You could tell he had been working up the courage for this moment. I told him like one of Moma’s good friends told me the other day “You are strong. You are brave.”. Aunty was going to go in with him, I was like just try it you don’t have anything to lose. Moments after the door opened she was redirected out the door. Ivy, Aunty and I stood there at the counter just talking about everything. Ivy said she was on the phone with Ricardo when I had called originally because he had been on the phone with Dr Hibashi. She said she thought I was in denial with what I had heard from her earlier, automatically was pissed but then took a sec and said again its her day to be tore up so I calmed down. I could see that what she was saying could be true but I was being honest. She also said that the Doc told Ricardo in about 3-5 days we would be able to tell if she would be improving or this is it. God please don’t make this the death sentence. Ivy hadn't been there long and she decided to leave, it felt weird. She sent me a text from the car telling me that she couldn’t handle seeing uncle Franky tore up. I totally understood and once again this was her day to be tore up. Eventually uncle Franky walked out and Aunty walked in. We stood there and talked a while. He was upset I could tell but handled it better than I thought he would. I was so happy he came to see her. I hope she could hear him, she sure does lover her baby brother. I went back in to see her and tell her good night and I was going home to take care of her dog that I'm sick of it and its time for her ass to come home and tend to these dogs. I drove home with mixed emotions but still so hopeful.